CONOR MARTIN

is Glenn and Jackie's dim-witted 13-year-old son. But what he lacks in intelligence he makes up for in raging hormones. When Conor isn't thinking about girls, he's thinking about women. Who can blame him for wanting to marry an Amish spinster? Or dressing up as a woman to fight in a boxing tournament? Or climbing a cell phone tower and burning his face off? Don't all 13-year-old boys do that?